Why girls love silly Turkish shows
And/Or the epidemic of unmasculine men
Every year at the end of the spring semester I find myself very burnt out, stressed and in my feelings, so I look for some way to take my mind off the upcoming finals and the scorching heat of summer days in Iraq and I always find that solace in silly Turkish comedies.
These comedies have some kind of reputation of being stupid or repetitive or predictable and I can’t say they’re not! But in some way this is exactly what I’m looking for when I’m stuck in stressful times I don’t have any control over, something fun that doesn’t take itself too seriously and something I don’t need to turn my inner critic for because the whole experience is just for fun.
These shows work with tropes that are all too familiar: enemies to lovers, fake dating, love at first sight, rich guy loves poor girl and so on. They’re not top cinematic experiences to say the least, but they don’t need to. They serve a very obvious (or at least to me) purpose, which is showing girls the ultimate heartthrob, sexy-yet-respectful, excessively masculine, endlessly handsome man that no girl seems to be able to track down in real life. And while watching the first episode of this new show I’m watching (Ruhun Duymaz) I thought of writing my own understanding or analysis of why girls (myself included) love these shows.
While thinking of why I love these shows and why lots of girls love them too, one reason kept coming back which is the unrealistic male protagonist. Girls watch these shows to imagine themselves being loved and cared for by these male characters who would kill anyone for you while men in real life wouldn’t even text you back . So let's digest this male protagonist first!
This male is mostly played by conventionally attractive men for obvious reasons; tall and muscular with a six pack, a head full of lustrous long hair, a full elegant beard. and not just looks, he has the full package: goodlooking, sweet spoken, wealthy, respectful and strong. In other words he’s the ultimate picture of the masculine man.
In most shows he’s a wealthy business man or a cop with a rich looking sleek modernist house full of wood and steel elements painted black, almost looking industrial at times. All of this to show that he’s a hard working man that can afford a house like this. His house isn’t the only thing telling of his personality; his clothes play a huge role in this. He'd usually be wearing polos or shirts with formal dress pant accessories with an expensive watch that he looks at to see the time ten times every episode.
while his appearance and house could show how masculine they intend him to be, but obviously his actions with the female protagonist and the way he treats her is what gets us all wanting that guy on the screen.
The majority of these shows use the enemies to lovers trope because it gives them time to work on the romance to make it feel real. In shows with this trope we’ll find the male protagonist at first an angry, closed in on himself guy that keeps fighting with the female protagonist in a very unrealistic fashion over the subject that makes them so called “enemies”. but is it really fighting? most of the time it’s childish harmless bickering over silly stuff. After all his anger and fights aren’t dangerous like those of a real life man; he wouldn’t hurt her in any way, in fact he’d go crazy if someone (in say ep 3) tries to steal something from her or harass her or physically attack her. At that scene we’ll see his real self that cares for her safety and well-being. he’s a tough man, not on her, but for her.
As the show progresses we’ll watch as the man will show more care towards her, saving her from falling or bandaging her knife cut or caring for her as she gets sick. we see him remember her favorite food or drink and making it for her, even if she never told him because he’s always very observant of her and herr behaviors His care shows in other ways too, one of them is picking on her nonverbal cues. we’ll see him quickly realize when someone is saying something hurtful to her and knowing she wouldn’t strike back at them, so he does. We also see it in the classic scene of putting his jacket on her when she didn’t even tell him she was cold. we’ll also see him realize when she’s not feeling well, he’ll try to smoothly get the reason out of her using his sweet calming voice.
all of these treats we never see in real life men. it’s rare that a man would pick and understand your nonverbal cues, they’ll need you to say everything straightforwardly as if you’re talking to a child and not an adult that can understand subtle hints and put two and two together
His care and love isn’t only shown in actions, but also in looks. Those scenes where he looks at her admiringly with a smile he doesn’t even realize is showing on his face while she does something silly or dances or sings around. We see his admiration in his eyes one episode after the other, he gazes at her while she is doing house chores or while she’s sleeping or as she’s talking to someone. we see what Substack has been obsessed with, we see him yearning!! He yearns and yearns for her, for her smell as she’s passing by him or for her curly brown hair as they unexpectedly fall into a hugging position and he most importantly yearns for her presence around him when she’s not there.
At the final stages of developing feelings for her, the male character starts to get jealous by a certain other male character that shows interest in her. but his jealousy isn’t toxic in any way, it doesn’t objectify her or control her. He doesn't explicitly state his discomfort, so his way of dealing with it is by simply frowning whenever she talks to or mentions that guy and the most he would do would be to mastermind a way to ruin every interaction she has with this man and kill any hope the other man had about getting the girl. This natural instinctual jealousy which throughout he will find out he’s falling for her is a type of jealousy we rarely ever see in real men. As for us middle eastern girls, the only type of jealousy we know is the toxic type which so many girls came to romanticize because we don’t have any alternative. it’s the type of jealousy that stems from a misogynistic mindset “she’s my property and you can’t look at her” this kind of jealousy is used as an excuse to control women’s clothes and autonomy and freedom of movement
One episode after the other as the ice melts and the hatred and bickering tones down, the male protagonist tries to open up for her, he starts to share his deepest secrets and fears, events that changed his life and left him scarred for life.
However, the female character in turkish shows can’t really be categorized as a “manic pixie dream girl” (although she has all the characteristic of one; a lively outgoing creative personality, short wavy brown hair and big eyes) because she also goes through so many stages of finding herself through love that I’m not mentioning because it’s not the focus of this article. The show will make sure to show us that both of these characters grew through the love they developed and shared, they are undoubtedly not the same people we saw in the first episode. which leads me to another point I want to make.
They show us some sexual tension in their looks and accidental touches, but it’s never vulgar and cheap like we see on American shows for example. The sexual tension here grows through the feelings they start to develop, the showmakers don’t need to show us an explicit scene of the protagonists in bed for us to understand they desire each other sexually. They show us a simple, growing and pure in some ways sexual desire that is built on the love the characters have for one another. The farthest we’d see is the characters kissing in like episode 9. some would call this “slow burn”, but I just call it how people in real life develop feelings. Not everyone might agree with me on this point, but I’ve never seen an american show where I really believed the characters were lusting for each other. The explicit scenes Americans insist on filming are cheap and disgusting in my opinion and they don’t respect the viewers understanding of nonverbal cues. as if the only way to make people know that these characters desire each other sexually is by literally showing them having sex. They lack romance and passion.
I think what I mean is clearly conveyed by these points I talked about. Although these men might exist in real life and some lucky girls are in happy relationships with them, but for the most part they are a figment of our imagination, so we watch these shows and dream of them to satisfy our fantasies so we can live another day in this world where men are the ones who talk shit about you and spread rumors about girls who rejected them instead of stopping those who do.